They can’t stand up for themselves, they can’t make their own decisions, and they can’t fight back. They’re powerless!
Really? Why is that? Do you have some proof? I didn’t think so.
5 Reasons ESL Teachers Have No Balls
2. Your students run, shout, speak Chinese…pretty much everything BUT speak English;
3. You’re afraid to confront your boss or senior teacher about this;
4. You’d rather go back to your home country than grow a spine, or balls;
5. You’re an ESL teacher because you didn’t know what the hell else to do with your life.
Am I right? I know you’ve answered at least one of those questions with a yes, if not all of them. How do I know this? Because for a long time I had no balls and answered yes to all of those questions.
So Am I Doomed to a Year of ESL Teaching Hell?
You’re already going through it; September’s halfway over! No doubt you’re already wondering why you came to whatever God-forsaken country you’re at in the first place. Or, and perhaps worse, you’ve come to accept the fact that you’re nothing more than a ball-less floor mat that should be walked all over.
If you’re thinking like that take what money you have and get on a plane and get the hell out of there! Save yourself!
If you think there still might be some hope for you, keep reading.
5 Ways ESL Teachers Can Get Balls
2. Say goodbye. Get rid of those kids that aren’t working, are running around, or speaking in Chinese. Take them to the teacher’s office; just put them inside and walk away, let someone else handle it. Put them in the hallways and let them run around; they’ll get in trouble eventually. Do anything but ignore it! Or else it’ll just get worse.
3. When you teach ESL you shouldn’t be afraid of your boss, your boss should be afraid of you. If you quit, who’s teaching your classes? They are, or some other schmuck. Be forceful with this person, who’s most likely older than you and has been in China for some time. Most ESL-lifers can’t do anything else in their home country and lost their own balls years ago. When your boss sees you won’t take any ESL shit, your year will go so much better!
4. You have two options with this one. Either go home and forget about China, or suck it up and change big time. For the first option, let’s fact it; it’s probably better for you to pack it in; you made a big mistake coming here. Go home now! For the second choice, now’s the time to throw the book away, stop listening to other teachers, and really give up on trying to teach. Instead have fun and play games. You’ll find hundreds on this site.
5. If you don’t know what to do with your life then I can’t help you. I’ll bet $10 that what you’re doing now isn’t it, though. All I can say is learn from this and realize you never want to do it again. I can’t tell you how many ESL teachers I’ve met that have gone home and gotten right back into school. Being an ESL teacher is no career; get in, and get out fast!
Disclaimer: I want to apologize to any ESL teachers out there that, through whatever chances of birth or horrific accidents in life, have no balls, literally.
Definition of Balls
n. the testicles. (Usually objectionable): He got hit in the balls in the football game.
exclamation of disbelief. (Usually an exclamation: Balls! Usually objectionable): Out of gas! Balls! I just filled it up!
n. courage; bravado. (Usually refers to a male, but occasionally refers to female. Usually objectionable): He doesn't have the balls to do that!
Spears, Richard A. Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions. McGraw Hill: New York, 2007. by Richard A. Spears.Fourth Edition.
Copyright 2007. Published by McGraw Hill.